And So Begins My New Life

Join me as I embark on a new life and new career in Funeral Services.

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Location: Southeast, United States

I'm a Funeral Services graduate embarking on a new career. I graduated high school in 1981, served honorably in the United States Navy from 1982-1986, been married since 1986, and have one son. I've relocated to a new state and have begun working in my chosen profession of Funeral Services, and I've never been happier.

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Cat Issues

In my last post I introduced Callie, and mentioned that our old cat was having issues. Well, now the shoe is on the other paw. Puppy Cat finally got to the point where he wants to be friendly, but now Callie is hissing at him when he gets too close. We've been letting them hang out as much as possible together, but keeping them separate at bedtime. Hopefully Callie will get over it, or else we will have to return her to the shelter.

Takes A Day Off did work Monday, and I got my day off, but Wednesday he took another half day off! I told the owner there were errands to be run, but I didn't know where Takes A Day Off was, and he tells me that he took off after lunch. My immediate comment was, "because he didn't have enough time off last week?" The owner just shrugged. I don't know what to make of it all.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

It's A Girl! No, Really, It Is,This Time

This is the newest member of our family, Callie. She really is a girl; we adopted her from the local shelter. We got her so Puppy Cat, originally known as Daisy, would have someone to play with. However, Puppy Cat is not reacting too well to another cat in the house. I did some research on the internet and learned to give the old cat time to get used to the scent of the new cat, and to keep them in separate rooms until the old cat acclimates. Then slowly, under supervision, begin to let them mingle. Callie is four years old, but she's about half the size of Puppy Cat, who is about a year and a half, and looks like a kitten that's halfway to adulthood. My wife is looking forward to having a cat of her own, as Puppy Cat is pretty much my cat.

P.S. I get to take tomorrow off, and the owner said he would deal with Takes A Day Off. We'll see what happens.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm Sick

Takes A Day Off called out "sick" again today. I am also sick, but did I call out? No, I didn't. On top of that, since he's out again, I am once again having to cover his calls tonight. He now owes me two days, and rest assured I will get them.

I have a head cold, and I'm supposed to take a family in the limousine to the National Cemetery on Monday. I told the owner I was sick, but that my boss was planning for me to take the family. He asked me, "Are you supposed to be off Monday?" I told him I was supposed to be, so he asks me why my boss is having me come in. I told him he would have to ask my boss. Then he asks when my boss will be back from his trip, and I tell him that my boss will be at work Monday morning. So he asks me why my boss isn't working this service, and again, I tell him he would need to ask my boss. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I will get my Monday off, after all, especially if I'm snotting and sniffling all the way up to the cemetery.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Catching Up

The month got off to a slow start, but business has been on the rise. Between our two locations, we had four services this past Monday, and two today at our primary location, with another one coming up for Monday. Naturally, with Monday being my day off, I'm getting the shaft again and having to work.

Takes A Day Off went home "sick" at lunch on Tuesday. Coincidentally, Wednesday just happened to be his regular day off. Funny how he always seems to get sick when it will provide him with a couple of days off in a row or a long weekend. Not surprisingly, he also phoned in sick this morning, despite the fact we had two funerals today. I was at the Post Office buying stamps yesterday; the clerk said that Takes A Day Off had been in on Tuesday, which was his sick day. I asked the clerk if that was in the morning or the afternoon, but he couldn't remember. I told my boss about the incident, because to the best of my knowledge, we had no postal errands Tuesday morning.

Since Takes A Day Off is out sick, I'm having to cover his calls tonight, if we get any. I'm going to let him know he can cover mine next Tuesday, which is when I will take my day off, since Monday is out.

I was scouting around the internet looking for some online gaming, along the lines of World of Warcraft or some other MMORPG type of game. Mainly, I wanted something I could play for free. I found listings for quite a few, but I guess maybe I'm just too picky or something, because nothing really appealed to me.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Hollywood Cracks Me Up

Have you ever watched a movie or tv show, and the central theme revolves around something you are intimately familiar with? This happened to me the other night. We were watching "Bones" on TNT. For those not familiar with the show, an FBI agent and a doctor who specializes in skeletal remains team up to solve crimes. In this particular episode, they were at the funeral of a colleague. He had dropped dead shortly after having lunch. The paramedics and the coroner ruled that is was a congenital heart defect that killed him. The viewing was at the home of the deceased. This is unusual, but not unheard of. When the time came for all the visitors to pay their final respects, the doctor approached the casket. Spotting a flower that had been placed on his chest, and since fallen to one side, she went to retrieve the flower and return it to his chest. The flower was between the chest of the deceased and the far wall of the casket, and the doctor feels that his ribs have been broken. She immediately determines he was murdered, based solely on the feel of his ribs. So while all the visitors are in the other room eulegizing the dead man, the doctor and her FBI buddy steal the corpse and take it back to their lab. It was determined that the man had been poisoned, as well as stabbed numerous times with a trocar, which is a hollow tube used for suctioning fluids. It turns out the poison did not immediately kill the man, but rather sent him into a coma. The poison in question is called tetrodotoxin, which is used in voodoo rituals for simulating death in a person. It lowers metabolic activity; heartbeat, respiration, etc. The paramedics and medical examiner both thought the man dead. While embalming, the funeral director supposedly hit a nerve, causing the body to sit up on the table. In a panic, the funeral director grabs his trocar and repeatedly stabs the man. His defense? "When you watch a lot of zombie was late, I was alone...I got scared."

Anyway, the doctor and her buddies steal the body, take it back to their lab, perform an autopsy (the previous medical examiner had only performed a visual examination, not a post-mortem), get the labwork on the blood, suture the body back up, redress it, take it back to the home, sneak it back into the casket, all in a just a couple of hours. When the dead man had his heart attack or whatever, he fell to the ground, which resulted in the broken ribs. The poison did eventually kill him, somewhere between the coroner's and the funeral home.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario. Number one, you can pluck all the nerves in a dead body that you want to, and none of them will result in the body sitting up from a supine position. Number two, I'm pretty sure the autopsy they performed was illegal, as they were not medical examiners, and they did not have permission from the widow. Number three, you cannot perform an autopsy, get all of your lab results back, sew up the body, redress it, drive it back to the house, and recasket it all in just a couple of hours.