And So Begins My New Life

Join me as I embark on a new life and new career in Funeral Services.

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Location: Southeast, United States

I'm a Funeral Services graduate embarking on a new career. I graduated high school in 1981, served honorably in the United States Navy from 1982-1986, been married since 1986, and have one son. I've relocated to a new state and have begun working in my chosen profession of Funeral Services, and I've never been happier.

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Friday, October 22, 2010

"Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K"

Or, more accurately, the funeral home. First, on Wednesday one of our cars had a flat tire. I put on the spare, then took the flat tire to the garage and left it to be repaired. When I called later that day, I was told there was nothing wrong with the tire, so I grabbed the company credit card and went back to the garage. They put the tire back on and didn't charge the funeral home anything for the work, so I never took the credit card out of my pocket. When I returned to the funeral home, I'm 99% positive I gave the card back to the secretary. The next morning, we wanted to put gas in the old hearse, but we couldn't find the credit card. Turns out it had been used the night before, between 8 and 9pm, at a grocery store, an ATM, and a convenience store. We canceled the account and ordered replacement cards. Thursday I had a service at the National Cemetery. While I was on that service, a florist delivered flowers to the funeral home for that service, which was incorrect. They claimed we told them Thursday, when in fact the actual viewing/visitation had been on Tuesday. The body was cremated on Wednesday, with committal of ashes on Thursday. One of our directors called the florist and told them they needed to pick up the flowers and deliver them to the family's home. They told him that wasn't their problem and hung up on him. Later that day, we noticed the flowers were missing. Did the florist come back after all? We don't know. Then, when discussing the credit card situation, it was decided that rather than leave a key outside, which we used to do so florists could make deliveries when we weren't there, everybody would have their own key and florists could just wait for someone to come let them in. We cut new keys for everyone, then today went to remove the key from the outside storage area, and it was missing. Who knows how long it's been gone. Was it taken the same night as the credit card? Was the credit card even stolen from the funeral home, or did I drop it somewhere? I don't think I did since it was in my shirt pocket, and I never lose anything from there unless I bend way over, like when I pick something up off the ground. Lastly, we had a service Thursday night. The family brought in some photos for me to scan and put together a video. I scanned the photos and put them back in the envelope they came in. Thursday before the service I see that they are gone, and just assumed the family had picked them up at some point. They called this morning asking where they were. We turned the funeral home upside down and inside out and could not find them. I suspect our secretary, who is currently on vacation for two weeks, mistakenly grabbed them up with her stuff and carried them home. We didn't mistakenly throw them away, but just in case, we searched the trash. Those photos are nowhere to be found in the funeral home. So taking all this into account, the owner had all the locks re-keyed. I have my suspicions about the credit card; I think one of the children of one of the staff came in after hours and helped themselves to the card.
Bonus points to those who recognize where the title of this post comes from.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Maturing As A Director

We had a ship in earlier this week. Everything had been prearranged, all that was needed was to sit down with the family and find out if they wanted flowers, a memorial package, and to collect money for the clergy to perform the funeral. It's a graveside service at the cemetery. My boss (the owner) told me that I could finish that arrangement. They came in yesterday and I got everything worked out. In a way, you could say this was my first burial arrangement, even though I didn't do much. Still, we all have to start somewhere. My boss is out of town, and since he's the embalmer on call for his team, I asked the owner who was going to do any embalmings that may come in. He told me to call him, and then I asked him when I would be allowed to do my own. Whenever I get a call that needs embalming, Returning Employee comes in to do the work. I've been licensed for almost 3 years, and have been learning for 5, and it was decided I can start performing my own embalmings.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Make It Stop

I've been out on 5 calls today, and I'm tired.

Of those calls, two were 300lbs each, and they both got embalmed.