And So Begins My New Life

Join me as I embark on a new life and new career in Funeral Services.

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Location: Southeast, United States

I'm a Funeral Services graduate embarking on a new career. I graduated high school in 1981, served honorably in the United States Navy from 1982-1986, been married since 1986, and have one son. I've relocated to a new state and have begun working in my chosen profession of Funeral Services, and I've never been happier.

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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Almost A Nightmare

I had a most unusual dream the other night; almost a nightmare. I haven't had one of those in years, but this one really creeped me out. I dreamt that we had someone at the crematory who wanted to be cremated alive. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful that would be. In the dream, we were talking to this person, explaining everything about how cremations are accomplished, how hot the retort is, how painful it would be. We even opened the door and let him feel how just how hot everything is. The average bonfire, from what I can find out on the internet, is somewhere between 600 to 900 degrees. We cremate at a temperature of 1650 degrees. If you were fully exposed to that kind of intense heat, one breath would sear your lungs, so no matter how much agony you would be in, you would not be able to scream, let alone breath. The dream ended without resolution; I either woke up or it just faded away.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Worst Removal Ever

I went into work today, after a day off, hoping that all would be well, and that we could work our usual 3-4 hour morning and knock off for the day. No such luck. As soon as I walk in I'm told we have a call. I make the removal, which calls for embalming. Also, the family wants a private autopsy. So we call the pathologist and set everything up, and begin embalming. We're finishing up when the pathologist calls and says he'll be in about 2pm. I decide to knock off for lunch, because I'm on call and will have to be at the funeral home as long as the Doctor is working. When I come back from lunch I learn that we have a house call, body was found after 3 weeks, bring two men and Hazmat suits. So Returning Employee and I gear up and head out. The deceased was on the kitchen floor, completely black from head to toe, due to the advanced decomposition. A few hundred flies are buzzing all over the house, and the body is literally covered in maggots. There was a pile of them about three inches high just pouring out of the anus. Blood and fluid covered the floor for about 2 feet in every direction and the maggots were just swimming in it. We brought in a plastic sheet, laid down a body bag on top of that, and rolled the body in. Then we carried that to a cleaner part of the house, and rolled the body bag into yet another body bag. We then carried that outside to the stretcher and went straight to the cooler. Once there we poured cavity fluid inside the body bags, glued the zippers shut and put the body on the rack. In my four years, that was the worst case I've seen, but we handled it rather well, I think. By the time we got back from that call, the Doctor had arrived and was beginning his autopsy. In all, I pretty much put in an eight hour day. On top of that, I've got about a six hour day tomorrow, because we have viewing and visitation and a service, which I will be working.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Takes A Day Off - Forever Part 2

Takes A Day Off finally made contact today at lunchtime. He claimed he's been in jail on some outstanding warrants, but I don't believe it for a minute. I searched the online jail records and found no record of his name. Plus, his ex-girlfriend told us earlier this week she had spoken to him recently, and she made no mention of any jail time. Finally, he has a myspace and twitter account, which I have been following daily, and there is no mention in there anywhere of being in jail. Additionally, most of his posts concern being at home and drinking. There are even some photos he uploaded.
Anyhow, he spoke to the owner, who let him know that he no longer had a job. So it's official. Takes A Day Off is gone for good, as if we didn't know that already.
Takes A Day Off Forever (Part 1)