First Week At The New Location

I just completed my first week at the new location. So far it hasn't been so bad. I've typed up a few at-need files, arranged for services at the National Cemetery, and spent most of the week going through old files and purging them of excess paperwork, as well as making sure they are entered into the at-need database.

Purging files may sound like busy-work, but it really isn't. Say that you have a filing cabinet full of files. For arguments sake let's say 250 files per drawer, and they are packed in tightly. If you remove 2 pieces of paper from each file, that adds up to 500 pieces, which is the size of a ream, about 2 inches thick. Multiply that by 25 years worth of files, that's a lot of paper and a lot of extra room you just freed up. And I'm not just removing one or two pieces of paper per file; I'm averaging between 5 and 10 sheets of paper per file.

I also got to work the crematory a little bit today. On the last cremation of the day, about an hour into the process, we opened up the door to the retort and I stirred the bones around. About 30 minutes after that, we opened the door again and I pushed the cremated remains to the back of the retort, then went to the access hatch and pulled them out. I also processed and packaged the previous set of cremated remains. It's hot, messy work and I'm glad I don't have to do it every day.

Some Days I Just Want To Smack Him

I started working at our new location yesterday. I spent the day going through the files for October and November, making sure all the paperwork was in order. There were several files that did not have the Social Security forms filled out and faxed, so I took care of those. Today, I was working and some people came in. They lost someone, and wanted cremation. I called "home office" and was told to sit down with them and start getting the information for the death certificate. My boss would be over shortly to take over if the services were to be more detailed. It wound up being simple cremation, which I handled. They picked an urn, paid for everything, and left. I'm in the office typing up the death certificate and permits, and my boss notices that I did not post payment on the back of the contract. I did, however, for the benefit of the family, note on the front of the contract that everything was paid in full, by whom, and the check number. I tell my boss I will get to it. He kept harping on the fact that I hadn't posted it yet, and I kept telling him I would. He kept on, and finally I snapped. I said, "I'm going to do it, give me a chance to get to it! And you're a fine one to talk. You don't post them on your contracts, either!" He looked at me with a perfectly straight face, and says, "No, {secretary} does it." Unbelievable.

Later, he met with a family who had called in. Afterward, he gives me the paperwork to complete while he gets ready to go to the hospital to get the body. He changes his mind and has me go, because the family will be back with payment shortly. I get up, indicate the typewriter and the file, and say, "ok, there's the death certificate and the permit to finish." He tells me, "I don't do those." I asked him about funeral directors completing their own files, and he proceeds to brag about how he "landed" the call and got them to use us, as if that was the extent of his responsibility. Some days I just want to smack him.

It's Time

Starting tomorrow, I will be working at the new location, as I discussed in this post. My boss will be stopping by every morning to check in. One "perk" I had been enjoying at our original location was less face time with my boss. I get along with him ok, and we can work together when we have to; it's just that I find everything goes so much smoother when he's not around. So tomorrow is my first day at the other place. I will be answering phones, handling paperwork, and various other clerical and administrative tasks, plus, I'm sure, the occasional janitorial duties. One problem the owner has with the staff at the new place is that no one seems to know how to clean.

Edit 7:24pm EST: I just got a call from my boss; I don't have to go tomorrow. The owner will let me know when it's time.

Final Score

My total number of calls for time on call was 7, which is a record. Sunday, my last day on call, I was awakened early in the morning with two calls. I was instructed to go to the nursing home first, as the family was still there, then go to the hospital. I made the first removal, brought the body back to the funeral home, then headed to the hospital. I got to the hospital, got my paperwork from admitting, then waited for security to come to the morgue so I could get the body. Some young security punk lets me in, I tell him who I'm there for, and he nods his head in the direction of the cooler, and says, "drawer 6." Then he just stands there, leaning against the counter. Drawer 6 was closest to the floor, so I position my stretcher, lower it all the way down, then open the drawer and, with some difficulty, pull the tray out. I can immediately see why I had such a hard time. The person on the tray was about 300-350 pounds. So I start thinking, "ok, he's gonna see how big this person is, surely he's gonna give me some help." Nope, not one lick. I manage, with some struggling, to move the body from the tray to the stretcher, then raise the stretcher back up to full height. I then slid the tray back in, then told him, "Thanks for all your help" then left. I don't think he caught the sarcasm in my voice, because he answered me with a sincere, "you're welcome."

Double Whammy

I'm on call today, and when I got home I was able to relax for about 30 minutes before we got a call. It was about 30 minutes away, and called for embalming. So I made the removal, we did the embalming, and I came home, arriving about 9pm. I was able to relax for about 20 minutes, when I get another call. This one was about 45 minutes away, and also calls for embalming. Thankfully, my boss told me we could do that in the morning. I've been home for about 45 minutes, and I'm wondering if it's safe to go to bed. I brought the company van home, just in case.

Edit: 20 minutes later. No, it was not safe to go to bed. Another call. It's now 2am, and I've been going since 7:30am.

Victory Is Mine

I am pleased to report that the owner approved of my embalming job I did last night. That makes me happy.

My First Solo Embalming

In this post I talked about my first attempt at embalming solo, which didn't turn out so well. Tonight I got home, got undressed and was just about to sit down and relax when my phone rings. It's my boss, we have a call, and I'm on duty. It's for our new location, and it's a pretty good ways away. It's in a hospital about an hour away. The other day Takes A Day Off had to make a removal under similar circumstances. He jokingly complained to the former owner of our new location, "don't you get any calls that are close by?" So I called Takes A Day Off and told him about this new call. He couldn't believe it.

Anyway, my boss proceeds to tell me this call will require embalming, but there will be no viewing or visitation. These types of cases are perfect for rookie embalmers to handle, so I was put in charge of the embalming. I made the removal, got the body back to the funeral home, and took care of everything start to finish, solo. I feel pretty good about the results, and I can only hope the owner is satisfied with my work.

Relocation Update And Some Randomness

I had previously mentioned that I was being transferred temporarily to our new funeral home. I was informed today that will not happen for at least another week and a half.
I was to have started this past Monday, but that was my day off. Monday afternoon I get a call from my boss to report to our original location because there was a lot to do. I showed up Tuesday morning and saw that we had a funeral plus visitation. Today (Wednesday) we also had a funeral, so I spent my day at the "home office." At the end of the day, the owner tells me that since this week's already half over, and since the owner will be out of town all next week, to not report to the new location until after he returns. So I have a reprieve, which is awesome.

I ended up working the visitation last night. I was supposed to get an hour off between 4pm and 5pm so I could take a break and get some supper. However, since my boss was out of the office and our secretary had to leave early, I was stuck at work until 4:20, which is when by boss returned. I ran home, heated up a can of Ravioli, ate it and got back by 5 because my boss ordered me to back so he could go home on time. (Not that he cares about me getting my breaks "on time"). I return to find that not one thing had been done in my absence. All of the trash cans from the afternoon visitation session were still full, including the one in the chapel, and the front door glass was covered in fingerprints. I took one look around, then said, "You guys didn't even empty the trash!" Then I got right to work cleaning while they went home. Had they been doing real work in my absence, I might have been more understanding, but they were watching rap videos on YouTube.

All Empty

All of our services are concluded, we had no new calls as of closing time today, and the crematory has cremated all but two bodies. Tomorrow one of those will be taken care of, and then we'll be cleaning the cooler from top to bottom, inside and out. Of the three and a half years I've been working as a funeral director, I have never seen business so slow. We are about 45 calls behind this same time last year. However, it's not just us. I've been tracking the obituaries and all of the local funeral homes are down. Firms that averaged 30-40 calls a month are running at about 10 calls to date. There was even an article in one of the trade magazines that was discussing the declining death rate for this year. At least the owner is aware that it's not just us.

Bummed

Today I found out something that really bummed me out. As you may know, the owner purchased another funeral home in March of this year. For the past few months, one of our newer employees has been working there in a role of secretary/administration. She is moving, so today I was informed I will be taking her place at the new location. I don't mind the work involved, it's more that I will be separated from my usual coworkers and my usual routine. For example, every morning I arrive at work early, make coffee, and enjoy a few cups with everyone while we take turns reading various sections of the paper. The new location has no coffeemaker, and does not take the local paper, only the Wall Street Journal, which I have no interest in at all. Also, that location has a minimal staff; the two previous owners, plus my boss stops in every morning before going to the primary location, and now, myself. However, while I am to be working there, one of the previous owners will be working at our primary location to learn how to do things the way we need them done. So for a great deal of the time, it will be myself and one other person, who is in charge of running the crematory.

Still, I can choose to let this bother me, or I can meet it for the challenge that it is. I will be in charge of the phones, paperwork, death certificates, accounting (with some assistance from "home office") and various other miscellaneous tasks. Another factor to consider is that all death calls are handled through our main location, so instead of being sent out on a call, I will be the one doing the sending. I think mostly, though, I will miss the companionship of my coworkers. This situation is not permanent, but it does appear that it may last into the New Year. I'll keep you posted.