My Last Day In Retail

Yesterday was my last day in retail, and it was a memorable one. For reasons I won't go into here, I had to leave early and travel out of town. However, the one and only customer I waited on was typical of everything I despise about retail. This old codger comes in and opens up with, "Can you tell me the approximate value of..."
At this point I know I probably won't be able to help him, because we don't do appraisals and we don't have a lot of knowledge about collectible watches or clocks, but I let him finish on the off chance I may know something. He finishes his question with something on the order of, "...a 1965 Omega Seamaster?" I tell him, "No, sir. I'm sorry, we can't." He gives me the old 'deer in the headlights' look and says, "Why not? Can't you look it up in your computer?" I tell him, "No sir, we can't." Again, his question is, "Why not?" I tell him, "Our computer is basically a glorified shoebox; it just holds money." He then asks me, "Well, can't you get in there and look up information on your products? Prices and things?" I tell him, "Yes, we can; we can look up all kinds of information on products we sell, but we don't sell Omega." At this point he finally clues in to the fact that our computer is not the Oracle of Delphi and it will not reveal to him the information he desires, so he scuttles on back to Red Lobster or Joe's Crab Shack or wherever these crusty old grouches come from.