And So Begins My New Life

Some Days I Just Want To Smack Him

2009-11-13T21:04:00.007-05:00

I started working at our new location yesterday. I spent the day going through the files for October and November, making sure all the paperwork was in order. There were several files that did not have the Social Security forms filled out and faxed, so I took care of those. Today, I was working and some people came in. They lost someone, and wanted cremation. I called "home office" and was told to sit down with them and start getting the information for the death certificate. My boss would be over shortly to take over if the services were to be more detailed. It wound up being simple cremation, which I handled. They picked an urn, paid for everything, and left. I'm in the office typing up the death certificate and permits, and my boss notices that I did not post payment on the back of the contract. I did, however, for the benefit of the family, note on the front of the contract that everything was paid in full, by whom, and the check number. I tell my boss I will get to it. He kept harping on the fact that I hadn't posted it yet, and I kept telling him I would. He kept on, and finally I snapped. I said, "I'm going to do it, give me a chance to get to it! And you're a fine one to talk. You don't post them on your contracts, either!" He looked at me with a perfectly straight face, and says, "No, {secretary} does it." Unbelievable.

Later, he met with a family who had called in. Afterward, he gives me the paperwork to complete while he gets ready to go to the hospital to get the body. He changes his mind and has me go, because the family will be back with payment shortly. I get up, indicate the typewriter and the file, and say, "ok, there's the death certificate and the permit to finish." He tells me, "I don't do those." I asked him about funeral directors completing their own files, and he proceeds to brag about how he "landed" the call and got them to use us, as if that was the extent of his responsibility. Some days I just want to smack him.

It's Time

2009-11-08T17:28:00.003-05:00

Starting tomorrow, I will be working at the new location, as I discussed in this post. My boss will be stopping by every morning to check in. One "perk" I had been enjoying at our original location was less face time with my boss. I get along with him ok, and we can work together when we have to; it's just that I find everything goes so much smoother when he's not around. So tomorrow is my first day at the other place. I will be answering phones, handling paperwork, and various other clerical and administrative tasks, plus, I'm sure, the occasional janitorial duties. One problem the owner has with the staff at the new place is that no one seems to know how to clean.

Edit 7:24pm EST: I just got a call from my boss; I don't have to go tomorrow. The owner will let me know when it's time.

Final Score

2009-11-04T20:01:00.003-05:00

My total number of calls for time on call was 7, which is a record. Sunday, my last day on call, I was awakened early in the morning with two calls. I was instructed to go to the nursing home first, as the family was still there, then go to the hospital. I made the first removal, brought the body back to the funeral home, then headed to the hospital. I got to the hospital, got my paperwork from admitting, then waited for security to come to the morgue so I could get the body. Some young security punk lets me in, I tell him who I'm there for, and he nods his head in the direction of the cooler, and says, "drawer 6." Then he just stands there, leaning against the counter. Drawer 6 was closest to the floor, so I position my stretcher, lower it all the way down, then open the drawer and, with some difficulty, pull the tray out. I can immediately see why I had such a hard time. The person on the tray was about 300-350 pounds. So I start thinking, "ok, he's gonna see how big this person is, surely he's gonna give me some help." Nope, not one lick. I manage, with some struggling, to move the body from the tray to the stretcher, then raise the stretcher back up to full height. I then slid the tray back in, then told him, "Thanks for all your help" then left. I don't think he caught the sarcasm in my voice, because he answered me with a sincere, "you're welcome."

Double Whammy

2009-10-26T22:54:00.002-05:00

I'm on call today, and when I got home I was able to relax for about 30 minutes before we got a call. It was about 30 minutes away, and called for embalming. So I made the removal, we did the embalming, and I came home, arriving about 9pm. I was able to relax for about 20 minutes, when I get another call. This one was about 45 minutes away, and also calls for embalming. Thankfully, my boss told me we could do that in the morning. I've been home for about 45 minutes, and I'm wondering if it's safe to go to bed. I brought the company van home, just in case.

Edit: 20 minutes later. No, it was not safe to go to bed. Another call. It's now 2am, and I've been going since 7:30am.

Victory Is Mine

2009-10-23T18:13:00.002-05:00

I am pleased to report that the owner approved of my embalming job I did last night. That makes me happy.

My First Solo Embalming

2009-10-22T21:59:00.002-05:00

In this post I talked about my first attempt at embalming solo, which didn't turn out so well. Tonight I got home, got undressed and was just about to sit down and relax when my phone rings. It's my boss, we have a call, and I'm on duty. It's for our new location, and it's a pretty good ways away. It's in a hospital about an hour away. The other day Takes A Day Off had to make a removal under similar circumstances. He jokingly complained to the former owner of our new location, "don't you get any calls that are close by?" So I called Takes A Day Off and told him about this new call. He couldn't believe it.

Anyway, my boss proceeds to tell me this call will require embalming, but there will be no viewing or visitation. These types of cases are perfect for rookie embalmers to handle, so I was put in charge of the embalming. I made the removal, got the body back to the funeral home, and took care of everything start to finish, solo. I feel pretty good about the results, and I can only hope the owner is satisfied with my work.

Relocation Update And Some Randomness

2009-10-21T18:05:00.005-05:00

I had previously mentioned that I was being transferred temporarily to our new funeral home. I was informed today that will not happen for at least another week and a half.
I was to have started this past Monday, but that was my day off. Monday afternoon I get a call from my boss to report to our original location because there was a lot to do. I showed up Tuesday morning and saw that we had a funeral plus visitation. Today (Wednesday) we also had a funeral, so I spent my day at the "home office." At the end of the day, the owner tells me that since this week's already half over, and since the owner will be out of town all next week, to not report to the new location until after he returns. So I have a reprieve, which is awesome.

I ended up working the visitation last night. I was supposed to get an hour off between 4pm and 5pm so I could take a break and get some supper. However, since my boss was out of the office and our secretary had to leave early, I was stuck at work until 4:20, which is when by boss returned. I ran home, heated up a can of Ravioli, ate it and got back by 5 because my boss ordered me to back so he could go home on time. (Not that he cares about me getting my breaks "on time"). I return to find that not one thing had been done in my absence. All of the trash cans from the afternoon visitation session were still full, including the one in the chapel, and the front door glass was covered in fingerprints. I took one look around, then said, "You guys didn't even empty the trash!" Then I got right to work cleaning while they went home. Had they been doing real work in my absence, I might have been more understanding, but they were watching rap videos on YouTube.

All Empty

2009-10-15T20:02:00.001-05:00

All of our services are concluded, we had no new calls as of closing time today, and the crematory has cremated all but two bodies. Tomorrow one of those will be taken care of, and then we'll be cleaning the cooler from top to bottom, inside and out. Of the three and a half years I've been working as a funeral director, I have never seen business so slow. We are about 45 calls behind this same time last year. However, it's not just us. I've been tracking the obituaries and all of the local funeral homes are down. Firms that averaged 30-40 calls a month are running at about 10 calls to date. There was even an article in one of the trade magazines that was discussing the declining death rate for this year. At least the owner is aware that it's not just us.

Bummed

2009-10-13T17:09:00.003-05:00

Today I found out something that really bummed me out. As you may know, the owner purchased another funeral home in March of this year. For the past few months, one of our newer employees has been working there in a role of secretary/administration. She is moving, so today I was informed I will be taking her place at the new location. I don't mind the work involved, it's more that I will be separated from my usual coworkers and my usual routine. For example, every morning I arrive at work early, make coffee, and enjoy a few cups with everyone while we take turns reading various sections of the paper. The new location has no coffeemaker, and does not take the local paper, only the Wall Street Journal, which I have no interest in at all. Also, that location has a minimal staff; the two previous owners, plus my boss stops in every morning before going to the primary location, and now, myself. However, while I am to be working there, one of the previous owners will be working at our primary location to learn how to do things the way we need them done. So for a great deal of the time, it will be myself and one other person, who is in charge of running the crematory.

Still, I can choose to let this bother me, or I can meet it for the challenge that it is. I will be in charge of the phones, paperwork, death certificates, accounting (with some assistance from "home office") and various other miscellaneous tasks. Another factor to consider is that all death calls are handled through our main location, so instead of being sent out on a call, I will be the one doing the sending. I think mostly, though, I will miss the companionship of my coworkers. This situation is not permanent, but it does appear that it may last into the New Year. I'll keep you posted.

Boss Got Chewed Out

2009-10-08T21:56:00.002-05:00

My boss got chewed out by the owner today. My boss had me ship an urn last week, giving me no special instructions at all. So I sent it in the usual manner, 1st class, return receipt requested. It went out on the 1st of October, and so far it has not arrived, and the family is having a ceremony sometime in the next day or two. So we've been getting calls every day from the receiving funeral home, and today the owner overhears one of these calls, so he starts asking my boss about it. My boss says we sent the urn 2 or 3 day express, and I speak up and tell him I did not do that, and my boss tries to turn the blame back on me by saying that I should have sent it "the way we usually send them." Well, I did send it in the usual manner, and the owner starts chewing my boss out about how he should have given specific instructions, especially if time was a factor. The chewing lasted about 20 minutes, and I left about 5 minutes into it. I'll have to keep my head down and try to stay out of my boss's way until he's over being pissed at me (which I'm sure he is.)

Cat Issues

2009-09-26T18:59:00.003-05:00

In my last post I introduced Callie, and mentioned that our old cat was having issues. Well, now the shoe is on the other paw. Puppy Cat finally got to the point where he wants to be friendly, but now Callie is hissing at him when he gets too close. We've been letting them hang out as much as possible together, but keeping them separate at bedtime. Hopefully Callie will get over it, or else we will have to return her to the shelter.

Takes A Day Off did work Monday, and I got my day off, but Wednesday he took another half day off! I told the owner there were errands to be run, but I didn't know where Takes A Day Off was, and he tells me that he took off after lunch. My immediate comment was, "because he didn't have enough time off last week?" The owner just shrugged. I don't know what to make of it all.

It's A Girl! No, Really, It Is,This Time

2009-09-20T19:14:00.011-05:00

This is the newest member of our family, Callie. She really is a girl; we adopted her from the local shelter. We got her so Puppy Cat, originally known as Daisy, would have someone to play with. However, Puppy Cat is not reacting too well to another cat in the house. I did some research on the internet and learned to give the old cat time to get used to the scent of the new cat, and to keep them in separate rooms until the old cat acclimates. Then slowly, under supervision, begin to let them mingle. Callie is four years old, but she's about half the size of Puppy Cat, who is about a year and a half, and looks like a kitten that's halfway to adulthood. My wife is looking forward to having a cat of her own, as Puppy Cat is pretty much my cat.

P.S. I get to take tomorrow off, and the owner said he would deal with Takes A Day Off. We'll see what happens.

I'm Sick

2009-09-18T17:14:00.002-05:00

Takes A Day Off called out "sick" again today. I am also sick, but did I call out? No, I didn't. On top of that, since he's out again, I am once again having to cover his calls tonight. He now owes me two days, and rest assured I will get them.

I have a head cold, and I'm supposed to take a family in the limousine to the National Cemetery on Monday. I told the owner I was sick, but that my boss was planning for me to take the family. He asked me, "Are you supposed to be off Monday?" I told him I was supposed to be, so he asks me why my boss is having me come in. I told him he would have to ask my boss. Then he asks when my boss will be back from his trip, and I tell him that my boss will be at work Monday morning. So he asks me why my boss isn't working this service, and again, I tell him he would need to ask my boss. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I will get my Monday off, after all, especially if I'm snotting and sniffling all the way up to the cemetery.

Catching Up

2009-09-17T19:08:00.002-05:00

The month got off to a slow start, but business has been on the rise. Between our two locations, we had four services this past Monday, and two today at our primary location, with another one coming up for Monday. Naturally, with Monday being my day off, I'm getting the shaft again and having to work.

Takes A Day Off went home "sick" at lunch on Tuesday. Coincidentally, Wednesday just happened to be his regular day off. Funny how he always seems to get sick when it will provide him with a couple of days off in a row or a long weekend. Not surprisingly, he also phoned in sick this morning, despite the fact we had two funerals today. I was at the Post Office buying stamps yesterday; the clerk said that Takes A Day Off had been in on Tuesday, which was his sick day. I asked the clerk if that was in the morning or the afternoon, but he couldn't remember. I told my boss about the incident, because to the best of my knowledge, we had no postal errands Tuesday morning.

Since Takes A Day Off is out sick, I'm having to cover his calls tonight, if we get any. I'm going to let him know he can cover mine next Tuesday, which is when I will take my day off, since Monday is out.

I was scouting around the internet looking for some online gaming, along the lines of World of Warcraft or some other MMORPG type of game. Mainly, I wanted something I could play for free. I found listings for quite a few, but I guess maybe I'm just too picky or something, because nothing really appealed to me.

Hollywood Cracks Me Up

2009-09-03T18:31:00.003-05:00

Have you ever watched a movie or tv show, and the central theme revolves around something you are intimately familiar with? This happened to me the other night. We were watching "Bones" on TNT. For those not familiar with the show, an FBI agent and a doctor who specializes in skeletal remains team up to solve crimes. In this particular episode, they were at the funeral of a colleague. He had dropped dead shortly after having lunch. The paramedics and the coroner ruled that is was a congenital heart defect that killed him. The viewing was at the home of the deceased. This is unusual, but not unheard of. When the time came for all the visitors to pay their final respects, the doctor approached the casket. Spotting a flower that had been placed on his chest, and since fallen to one side, she went to retrieve the flower and return it to his chest. The flower was between the chest of the deceased and the far wall of the casket, and the doctor feels that his ribs have been broken. She immediately determines he was murdered, based solely on the feel of his ribs. So while all the visitors are in the other room eulegizing the dead man, the doctor and her FBI buddy steal the corpse and take it back to their lab. It was determined that the man had been poisoned, as well as stabbed numerous times with a trocar, which is a hollow tube used for suctioning fluids. It turns out the poison did not immediately kill the man, but rather sent him into a coma. The poison in question is called tetrodotoxin, which is used in voodoo rituals for simulating death in a person. It lowers metabolic activity; heartbeat, respiration, etc. The paramedics and medical examiner both thought the man dead. While embalming, the funeral director supposedly hit a nerve, causing the body to sit up on the table. In a panic, the funeral director grabs his trocar and repeatedly stabs the man. His defense? "When you watch a lot of zombie movies...it was late, I was alone...I got scared."

Anyway, the doctor and her buddies steal the body, take it back to their lab, perform an autopsy (the previous medical examiner had only performed a visual examination, not a post-mortem), get the labwork on the blood, suture the body back up, redress it, take it back to the home, sneak it back into the casket, all in a just a couple of hours. When the dead man had his heart attack or whatever, he fell to the ground, which resulted in the broken ribs. The poison did eventually kill him, somewhere between the coroner's and the funeral home.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario. Number one, you can pluck all the nerves in a dead body that you want to, and none of them will result in the body sitting up from a supine position. Number two, I'm pretty sure the autopsy they performed was illegal, as they were not medical examiners, and they did not have permission from the widow. Number three, you cannot perform an autopsy, get all of your lab results back, sew up the body, redress it, drive it back to the house, and recasket it all in just a couple of hours.

Slow

2009-08-28T16:41:00.002-05:00

Work has been almost as slow as my posting, which explains the large gap between this post and my last. Honestly, there has been not much of anything happening at work. In fact, this has been a very slow year. Our call volume is off by about 40 calls or so. What that means is that last year at this time we had 40 more calls than we have at this time this year. If things don't pick up this last quarter, I'm dreading the end of the year chewing out we might receive for such a slow year.

Once again I've been toying with the idea of closing down this blog. I started it to chronicle my transition from retail to funeral directing, as a record to see my progress from neophyte graduate to full blown funeral director. I'm not saying this blog has run its course, but there certainly are times when I struggle for material to write about. If I do stop the blog, I will keep it up for people to discover. Besides, I'm not sure if there's anyway to save it other than to keep it up and open. I'll let you know.

Back On My Soapbox

2009-08-11T19:59:00.002-05:00

This is not a political blog, and I rarely comment on political issues, but I just wanted to say one thing. Today, I took my wife to see "Julie & Julia." It was a very enjoyable film, but one scene really struck me the wrong way. Julie, the blogger, gets in trouble with her boss over something she did. I won't say what in case you haven't seen the movie, but he tells her, "A Republican would fire you for this." What the hell? Buttholes come in all stripes; liberal, conservative, Democrat, and Republican.

To all you Democrats out there, here's a bit of news for you. YOU WON! You've got the White House, you've got the Senate, you've got the House. Quit being sore winners.

Two Sets Of Rules

2009-08-07T19:18:00.005-05:00

Today was another boss day. I swear, I did not start this blog to chronicle the clashes between me and my boss, but that's how things have been turning out lately. I got up at 5:30am to drive the owner and his wife to the airport for their long weekend getaway. In the meantime, we (the funeral home) have a cot view scheduled for late afternoon. I return from the airport, handle a few errands, and am making lunch plans. My boss informs me that I am to prepare the body for the cot view. I have no problem with that; I've done it several times before. So I take care of it and the family was very pleased with the appearance and complimented us on how well we did. At 4:30, with absolutely nothing going on what so ever, I ask my boss if I can leave early since I had such an early start to my day. He looks at me and says, "what time do we work 'til around here?" I said, "5 o'clock." He says, "ok, then...Nobody else leaves at 4:30, do they?" I answered him that, yes, some people do leave early sometimes. So, once again, he gives me the "whatever" attitude and tells me to do what I want. Very calmly, keeping my smart mouth shut, I tell him that I will stay until 5. In the meantime, my blood is boiling because Takes A Day Off and Returning Employee have, on numerous occasions, taken off half an hour to an hour early when there is nothing going on. In fact, Takes A Day Off earned his nickname on this blog by taking off so many days and half-days last summer that I lost count. He even missed an entire month of work at one point! It seems clear to me now, (as if I had any doubts before) that there are two sets of rules. One for me, and one for everybody else. The joke's on them, though, because I just got a raise and some extra vacation time that no one else knows about or got themselves.

It Was Nice While It Lasted

2009-08-06T16:53:00.006-05:00

Well, my boss is back from vacation. While I am very grateful to not have to cover the phones after hours, it was very nice not having him around for a couple of weeks. Today was his second day back at work, and he was able to rub me the wrong way a couple of times. The first incident was a plant left over from a funeral on Wednesday. The family didn't want it, but asked that we donate it to their church. The owner tells me to take it up there today. I tell my boss I'm going to take care of this, and his attitude was, "what's the church going to do with this little dish garden?" I told him that it was a nice little plant and they would probably enjoy it in the church office. He gives me the "whatever" attitude, but the owner wants it done, so there's not much my boss can say about it. So I'm in the van heading to church with the plant, and I notice the gas is down to about 1/3 of a tank. The owner has made it known that when the gas gauge dips below half a tank, fill it back up! So I plan to do that when I get back, but my cell phone rings. My boss is calling, he wants me to come back and pick him up. We have a car in the shop, and it's ready. I turn around and pick him up, and when he gets in I ask if he has a company credit card. He wants to know why and I tell him about the gas being low. He looks at the gauge and says, "you've got plenty of gas to get to church and back." I remind him that I was told to fill up in situations like this, and he says, "yeah, in a perfect world." So I just dropped him off at the garage, ran my errand, came back and waited for the day to end. This was the second time he had comments about gassing up the cars. The first time was our errand car; it was down to a quarter-tank, and I put a note on the board that said, "Hyundai needs gas." My boss asked me how much was in the tank, and I told him. He tells me, "You can go to {closest big city} and back on that!" Someone else can deal with the refueling from now on; I'm tired of getting attitude for simply trying to follow company policy.

And, yes, the church was very appreciative and happy to take the plant to liven up the office.

Telephone Duty

2009-08-02T22:09:00.003-05:00

My boss has been on vacation for over a week. He'll be back at work on Tuesday. Whenever he's away, I have the glorious privilige (can you detect the sarcasm?) of covering the telephones after hours and on weekends. This past weekend was my weekend off, but with all the phone calls, 2 death calls on Sunday morning, follow up calls, etc., I haven't been able to relax very much. Between 6:30 am and 6:30 pm today I fielded 14 incoming phone calls. That's only the incoming; I had to place about 8 outgoing phone calls in order to handle everything that came up today. I'll be glad when my boss gets back; as much as I like it when he's gone, I hate these blasted phones.

How Is That Not A Mistake?

2009-07-22T21:56:00.001-05:00

I'm back at work after vacation, and my boss just left for his. One of the calls he handled while I was away is a ship out up north. Today I got a call from the receiving funeral home; the date of death is in question. Our paperwork said one thing, the family said they were notified a day earlier. So I pull the file, and see that, yes, the family seems to be correct, yet our face sheet shows the later date. So I call my boss, and he says the face sheet is correct. Then he hesitates, and says, "well, I got the call the day before yesterday. When would that be?" I told him that would be the date the family is indicating. He then tells me the stupidest thing I think I have ever heard in my entire life, and I can't wait until he rags on me for something dumb I did so I can throw it back in his face; "Well, I didn't make a mistake, I just wrote it down wrong."

Easy Come, Easy Go

2009-07-15T15:06:00.002-05:00

I'm on vacation this week. I've got the in-laws from out of state visiting. Monday we went to the casino. My wife and her sister and mother played the slots, I headed straight for blackjack. $5 minimum, so I started out with $20 in chips. Within just a few hands, I had doubled my money. I then got up and went to the slots, where I piddled around for a little while. I kept coming back to blackjack, playing a couple of hands, moving up and down, leaving when I lost too many hands in a row. I hit a decent payout on a slot machine, and I was having a good time. At some point I went back to blackjack, and got on a losing streak. Eventually I was down to nothing. I had run out of slot money, as well. I took a couple of tokens from my wife, parlayed those into enough for another blackjack hand, and won! I was excited. I put $5 down, drew a 20 with the dealer showing 3. Naturally, I stood. She turns over an 8, for a total of 11. You can imagine what happened next. She draws a 10 for 21. I was so flabbergasted, I actually blurted out, "you've got to be kidding me!" I played my last $5 and lost. I went to the casino with $50, had probably doubled my money at one point, and came home empty handed (and headed). I should have quit while I was ahead.

Thank Him For What?

2009-07-10T16:52:00.005-05:00

Last week my boss, at the request of one of the hospital chaplains in our town, went about 35 miles south to meet with the chaplain's brother-in-law, who was terminal. So he goes down there, makes the prearrangements, and comes back and files away the paperwork. A few days later (Tuesday, the 7th), we get the call, and I'm on duty. So I get out of bed at 6am, get ready and go down and make the removal. I then take the body to the crematory, come back to the funeral home, contact the doctor, then enter the file, generate the death certificate and permits, then run the certificate down to the doctor, who is also in the same town 35 miles south of us. Once the cremation is accomplished, I print up the prayer cards for the graveside service, which the family set up all on their own, just down the road from their house, by the way, pick up the ashes and urn, take the contract and other assorted paperwork needing signatures, down to the graveside service, where I assist, including leading a procession of people from the chapel over to the niche, where the priest blesses the space, then I place the urn inside. After the service, I proceed to the doctor's office, pick up the death certificate, take it to the health department, file it, wait for it, then take the certified copies back to the family's home, have the family sign the contract and other paperwork, answer all their questions, then prepare to head back north. After all of this, which started on Tuesday and ended this afternoon about 12:30pm, the family tells me, "be sure to thank {my boss} for us."

Honestly, I've got to tell you, I feel kind of slighted. I know that they don't know what went on behind the scenes, but they haven't seen my boss since he made the initial consultation. All he's done is talk to them on the phone a few times. I know I shouldn't feel envious or jealous, that the important thing is the family was very pleased with how everything was handled, but still...

Why My Boss Frustrates Me, Sometimes (Part 3)

2009-06-30T17:29:00.010-05:00

I had yesterday off, so I had no idea what I was walking into when I got to work this morning. I see we had a couple of calls since Sunday, so I go up front to see what has and hasn't been done as far as generating death certificates, dropping them off, picking them up, etc. In the meantime, Takes A Day Off was on his way to the Medical Examiner's office to pick up a body. My boss comes in and starts looking through the errand book and sees that Takes A Day Off forgot to take the death certificates to drop off on his way to the ME's office. (These certificates are for the county immediately south of us). So he says we'll have to mail them, be sure and get an envelope typed up and get everything ready for the mail. He also tells me we need to pick up this one particular death certificate, which is just a couple of blocks away. So I get in the car and go after it, plus make a deposit at the bank. When I return, the death certificate and application are right where I left them, on top of the typewriter, waiting for someone to type up the envelope for mailing. It would have taken my boss all of 5 minutes to sit down and type this up, but did he? No, he didn't.

Returning Employee told me that yesterday he embalmed a body, then went on a service. All that needed to be done was to suture the incisions, then bathe. Did my boss do any of those while Returning Employee was out on his service? No, he left it for someone else to do, which is pretty much how he operates. I guess his personal motto is, "Why do yourself what you can get someone to do for you?"

Parts 1 & 2

Monday Morning Adventures

2009-06-22T21:39:00.004-05:00

I was off call this weekend, so I had no idea what may or may not have happened Saturday and Sunday. Turns out, it was a lot! I walked into work this morning to find four embalmed bodies in the prep room, which was four more than when I left work Friday. One of them was viewing with services at 11am. Of course, everything needed to be done: bathing, suturing the incisions, dressing, casketing, cosmetizing, hair, etc. About 8:30am the secretary sticks her head in and announces the family wants to come in at 9 for a sneak preview. We did our best to get everything ready, but we did not make the 9am deadline. I think it was closer to 9:30 before the owner moved the casket into the chapel.
I spend the rest of the morning helping to suture and bathe all the other bodies. Here is the strangest part about all those calls; every last one of them gets sent out of state. I was give the responsibility of arranging air transportation for one of them. I took care of it quite easily, but the airfare was more expensive than I thought it would be. Usually it runs about $400 to send a body out of state, but this particular shipment was about $565. I don't know if it's because of the destination, or just that the carrier is overpriced.
About 10pm this evening, I got a call from the guy I share on-call duties with. He's on his way to another city about 2 to 3 hours away for a call, which means anything that comes in for the rest of the night is for me to deal with.